It's been itching me a while now.

Christianity. How can Christians possibly believe in something so unbelievable? Do they really believe what they say they believe? Some of them don’t. And, I’m sure, the ones that do only do so microscopically. Christians cannot be in complete belief of it all, because they are not yet made perfect in Christ on the New Earth. Therefore humans, especially Christians, must have doubts. I know the majority have faith smaller than a mustard seed, otherwise they would be in the complete reality of all they ‘believed’ and would be a revolutionary peoples; counter-cultural, standing in dichotomy with the rest of the world. But Christians aren’t perfect. They strive for the unattainable. Therefore, what a claim! I feel like a hypocrite! Every day, I keep discovering how faithless I am. It keeps me humble and saying, “Lord, increase my faith!” I could never stop asking the Lord for more faith. I can understand a little clearer now that Christianity, knowing God, loving and embracing the God head and walking in obedience to that, is the first step toward truth, the only truth. “I am the way, the truth, and the life.”

Precious Lord

O Lord, precious breath,
I breathe in.
My blood circulates, my body alive,
because of such precious breath
I breathe in.

O Lord, be the most
precious to me.
I want you
more than the breath,
I breathe in.

It fills my lungs
You, Lord of hosts, fill my soul
"My cup overflows"
Let me praise you with each breath
I breathe in.

The Lord, my redeemer
The Lord, bore my sins
Not in this life I'll be able to grasp such love
O Lord, You are the breath
I breathe in.

It Is Well

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Theology
Philosophy

Linguistics
Etymology
Literature
Communication

Society
Culture
History
Psychology
Human Body

Arts
Science
Nature
Mathematics

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.

Check!

I am just checking off my list of things to do today. One of them is to write something. I don't know what to write about, but I will write something, at least! It could be crappy or silly or strange, but if I don't write it won't have the opportunity to be anything! I would rather write something creepy and downright stupid than not right anything at all. Most of what I write, I think, is kind of silly, but it makes me feel better to do so. If I could major in thinking at college I would. That's all I ever love to do. Sometimes it is tiring but I love it. Thinking has a lot to do with what I write. There are many things I think, though, but don't know how to communicate. That is why I end up sounding so strange! That is why I love reading because I feel others like Lewis, Thoreau, Pascal, Cather, and Kierkegaard say what I have been trying to say all along. They speak for me. They are better communicators.

If I just keep up this writing I think I will get better and better. Where else could I start to become a better writer, than by writing? I can't be completely amazing at this thing on my first real tries. I know it is something that develops. Everything needs refining, right? Rough draft! Here I come!

Right now everything is so confusing. This is how it is most of the time. These questions itch me and drive me crazy. The weight of the reality of which I believe (Christianity) is always heavy on me.

But he said, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." He had skin and nails. A heart, a heartbeat. Eyelashes. Sweat. Pain, sufferings. Blood.

My salvation rests in Him. What kind of love is this? A love I can only wait for. A love I can only believe in, and hope for.

I can't be in just a gullible atmosphere that benefits me.

I want to acknowledge God when I see the Sun. I want to breathe knowing He willed it. I want to see people as children of God; created by God, and for God. I want to be still and know that He is Lord. Our Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.